Last night I went to a karaoke bar with people I barely know. I had the most fun I’ve had in ages. I knew I would because I went with people from the improv class I’ve joined.
Doing scary things
I attend an improv drop in class. Joining anything is scary and this is no different.
I have to be up front and say that as a teenager the theatre group I went to did “Whose Line is it Anyway” games a lot and I love being “on stage” so some elements improv bits aren’t very scary for me.
But post Covid and divorce etc joining new groups is scary. By 7.30 I’m generally exhausted and have no energy for staying awake, let alone an improv class. Also, now I struggle to remember names, which isn’t ideal in an improv group. . But I go as it’s fab. I’m sure it’s good for my brain.
So why was last night out of my comfort zone?
Going to this karaoke social was scary as I have no idea how well the rest of the group know each other but I certainly didn’t feel like part of the group as I left my house. Not yet anyway.
I’ve been to the group sporadically, (because I have my kids every other week), so I never really feel a part of things. Everyone in the group is younger than me. I had no idea how well people know each other. Also I hardly ever drink but I decided to have a drink, so I didn’t know how that would be for me.
Logistics bother me nowadays. New, unknown logistics. Where I’m not in control.
I get quite anxious about getting the train because they’re so unpredictable and a taxi home feels like a wild expense. And then there’s the heat. In the heat I get really fatigued and then I get really overwhelmed and can’t think straight. The joys of MS, (or menopause? or ADHD or just being me, I don’t know).
So I was nervous. A part of me really did consider not going.
Getting the train to go for dinner and then karaoke with people I don’t know felt wild.
Initially I did get overwhelmed. The critic in my head became loud and judgy, saying that I should go home and it’s all a bit much.
I couldn’t understand my maps app inside the station and the road names were baffling to me. I feel embarrassed that I can’t find my way around the city I grew up in and have lived in for most of my life.
Then the food place we went to was full of different options and most of them had no menus. It was loud and confusing.
I had to tell the voices in my head that it was ok over and over. I had to tell the voice that says I talk too much, I say the wrong thing, that it’s ok. Over and over I ignored the voice in my head.
Nothing to worry about
Once we were sat down with our food I had the best time. It felt so easy with everyone.
Something about doing improv that sort of person. I felt so at home with the group. My inability to mask and/or not say inappropriate things feels not just ok maybe even an asset.
At karaoke I had my usual dilemma of how to enjoy singing songs I love singing but not look like a poseur and also have fun with other people. Also I’m used to being in charge in this sort of situation and I didn’t want to be. It would have been completely weird if I had ended up taking charge because I’m the new person (or at least I thought I was).
But fortunately I didn’t feel a need to be in charge. In fact it was kind of silly that I was even thinking that I would need to be. I was joining a group of people, they know what to do.
Singing is fun
I did sing the song that scared me – THE JOKE and I think it’s fair to say I almost hit it. But not quite and I’m ok with that.
I sang Popular from Wicked, which is comfy and easy for me, (I’m a secret soprano). I had the BEST and campiest time singing Total Eclipse of the Heart.
There were some cracking singers in the room but it wasn’t about that. It was about singing and having fun and being silly and ott and together. One of the young people ,(they were all young to me), didn’t know Paranoid Android by Radiohead! I didn’t know some of the songs they sang, because my youth was Bros and not Backstreet Boys.
So little ego and so much fun. And I was reminded of what I say a lot – “singing is fun”. I mean I say “singing is a portal to joy” but it means the same thing. I’m just being fancy when I say what I say.
Then one of the group said “no one in this room can sing Defying Gravity” and said he’d pay anyone would could a tenner. I wasn’t sure if I wasn’t being fair, what with my job etc but after deliberating for ages, just before I had to leave for my train I thought, well maybe I can today. I mean I didn’t hit The Joke in the way I wanted to but I have to try – I blame the cocktails.
I’ve got to be honest, I’m not sure if I managed to hit Defying Gravity. I didn’t get my tenner and I’m not sure I deserved it.
My belt was off and I’ve done too much vocal rehab and training to do things that I know could hurt my voice. I couldn’t really hear myself. I don’t think I hit the warrior cry at the end. I hit loads of notes in upper register that I wish were in lower/belt/mix. I think I hit all of the official notes, but I’m not sure.
I might be owed a tenner. Or I might not be. I really don’t care.
I was reminded of the joy that singing brings to people last night.
I was reminded of how much fun can be had with a handful of people in a small room, 2 bad mics and youtube.
But mostly I was reminded that singing is fun.
Free Singing Resources can be found here or