A New Obsession
I have taught singing for over 20 years and for most of those years I have been obsessed with learning about singing.
At the moment, however, I’m obsessed with something else entirely.
I know that it’s all linked to writing my new show, taking really strong meds that scare me and maybe also linked to getting older and really quite liking it.
I think that whatever I learn can benefit the singers, (and speakers), who I work with. So I’m going to share this. It feels very personal but here goes.
I find myself chasing joy.
It’s not been a conscious thing.
In fact I am often afraid of doing the things that bring me joy.
Stevie Wonderful
I bought tickets to see Stevie Wonder because my younger son loves Stevie, particularly Stevie’s Songs in the Key of Life album. And when I saw that Stevie was touring that album I knew I had to try to get tickets for us. I also knew that the show was on 14th October, less than 3 weeks after I’d finished taking a medication that is meant to wipe out my T and B cells and make me really vulnerable to infection. Also these meds have made me so fatigued I can just about teach and maybe drive my kids about a bit. That’s my lot.
So I was so worried about the gig. Getting there, parking up, being too tired, being sat next to someone who was sick. The list goes on and on.
On the day, after a lot of confusion finding my kid, (long story, doesn’t need sharing), I was exhausted before we got into the arena. I felt like I needed a good lie down. The arena was packed, also a fear of mine atm.
Then when we got inside it was cooler, so I knew the air was being circulated more, and I was sitting at the end of a row. I felt so lucky. I was so emotional already I wanted to cry. It was almost like the accessibility person who helped me to book the tickets had listened to me about me being worried about catching something at the gig.
And then the gig.
I haven’t felt like this since I saw Kate Bush. It was like you’re in the presence of someone regal. But better than regal.
And the music. The musicianship on that stage. I’m out of superlatives.
The sight of my 13 year old who is too cool for school atm looking so happy. The feeling of being so happy myself.
My mate Rich, who came with us, turned to me and said he’d never seen me this happy before and I thought that of course he hadn’t, because he hasn’t known me long and the last few years have been some tough years. But then I realised something.
Chasing Joy – Sometimes You Have to Just Dance
I don’t know if I’ve ever been happier than I was at that moment. (The only missing element was my eldest being there and loving it too).
I realised that getting older doesn’t diminish your life or your opportunities for happiness. if anything it enhances it.
That gig was one of the most joyful and life affirming experiences I’ve ever had. I can’t really write about it because I was so in the moment. I do know that I danced. I have worried about dancing for the last few years, (since my MS diagnosis), because I don’t know what harm it might do.
Turns out sometimes you just have to dance.
I danced when everyone danced and a couple of times I danced when other people weren’t dancing – because I love Ebony Eyes and I was on the end of the row so I wasn’t blocking anyone’s view.
I got home and I barely slept. I was buzzing so much.
The next day I was indeed a bit of a mess. I was exhausted. I taught because I can do that on a totally empty cup of energy. It’s instinct for me.
Two nights after the gig I had the best sleep I’ve had in ages.
Red Trees
I woke up on Thursday full of energy so I decided to hunt down the thing I love almost as much as music, red trees.
It was maybe a bit silly as I drove for 1 hour 20 mins to get there and then same journey time to get back. And I was only there for just over an hour but…
Westonbirt Arboretum did not disappoint. It was stunning. Completely and utterly, breathtakingly stunning.
There is an area called Acer Glade which is full of Acers all in different stages of turning red.
Seeing the light through the trees. The yellow trees. The ancient trees. The calm and quiet.
I’ve been utterly exhausted since Friday but I don’t regret it.
Singing and Joy For Me
I’ve been having loads making music as well! I’ve joined a band and we did a little set at a fundraiser last week. That was so much fun.
And also we had the first band rehearsal for my new show. I am so lucky to be working with some extraordinary musicians who bring things out of my songs I had no idea were there. Make sure to sign up for my mailing list if you want to know about the shows when we set them up.
So much chasing joy through music!
When Did You Chase Joy Recently?
Is singing a way that you experience joy? If it is and you feel you need some guidance with your singing/voice do let me know if I can help.
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