Changing the way I approach life and creativity through playfulness and genuine self-care.
Life things
I’ve been doing some really interesting things recently. They aren’t about my teaching but I feel that everything relates back to my teaching work. They’re about self compassion and being playful.
The way I approach life is completely linked to the way that I approach teaching. And the way I approach teaching is hopefully modelling what I consider to be the ideal to approach singing.
Medication and not pushing through. Self Compassion At Last.
The first thing is that I’m taking year 2 of the medication to slow any progression, (or even maybe stop progression), of the MS in my brain.
The medication is a 5 day course of adapted chemo meds taken in weeks 1 and 5 in year 1 and then repeated again in year 2. So it’s 4 rounds of the meds over 2 years.
Last year I taught for the first round and realised I was exhausted and not teaching as well as I’d like to be teaching. So I took time off for the second round.
I think that my reasoning for taking that time off last year was purely so that I wasn’t offering substandard teaching. My brain wasn’t on form so I didn’t want to teach from that place.
I also hate the idea of being absent from the singers I’m working with. And of course I’m self employed so taking 2 weeks off work twice felt wildly costly financially.
This year I’ve scheduled time off from teaching for both rounds of meds. I’ve just finished the first round and a week off to recover.
Allowing My Body to Rest With Some Self Compassion
In reality taking the 2 weeks off was more than taking care of my students and not offering sub-standard teaching, it was an act of what feels like wild self care.
And I feel so much better for the rest. I can’t imagine how I could have taught in the last 2 weeks. I needed to rest. I needed to sleep when I needed to sleep and not be worrying about other people’s schedules.
The Other Thing – My New Show
The other thing that is taking up my headspace when I’m not teaching and with my kids is my constructing my new show.
Things are happening but it took time to get things to happen.
I never *work* on the songs I write. Songwriting doesn’t work like that for me.
I feel a need to write about something and if the house is quiet and I have time to write then very often the songs just flow out.
I don’t know how to “work” at being creative. I just now how to get into the flow. It’s like creativity is a river and I just have to step into it.
After I got the Arts Council funding in June I got very stressed about writing a brilliant show. I thought and I worried. I went for walks and I tried, and failed, to sit in quiet, waiting for clarity. Clarity didn’t come.
Then my sister said something useful that brought me back to earth with a bump. She said my songs are ok, my singing is ok, my band is great and I’m confident on stage and quite funny. That I will make something that’s a nice enough way to pass an hour.
I figured if I took the bar down to there and stopped worrying about creating something epic I could actually get back to enjoying the process. I could get back to being playful.
Then I remembered I create by playing.
I have gone back to my songs. I want the show to be full of joy.
I’m working with a brilliant MD (musical director) Jobe Sullivan (WAITING FOR A DECENT WEBSITE FROM HIM – CURRENTLY AT https://www.linkedin.com/in/jobe-sullivan-a79485208/ )
He’s taking songs that were written as slow ballads and funking them up, making them into dance tracks, jazz tracks. I’m having so much fun with the music in this show.
Not My First Rodeo
I can do this because it’s my second rodeo.
My first rodeo was in Feb 2023. You can see a few songs from that gig here…
https://www.youtube.com/@RebeccaSchwarzMusic
During my first rodeo I was so nervous. I couldn’t believe these amazing musicians wanted to work with little old me, on my little songs. But they did and the music we made together was epic.
And they all want to work with me again.
So this time I’m bringing more confidence to the process.
I’m having fun. I’m sharing my ideas. I’m noticing my ideas and trusting my instincts. I can’t wait to get the band together to see what we all bring out when we’re all together.
I can’t wait to tell you about the show.
Things Might Move Slower Than I’d Like But They are Moving
Things are progressing more slowly because I’m taking 2 weeks off again at the end of September, but things are progressing.
And I’m so excited about the way my life is at the moment.