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Scary Things

I’ve done two very scary things in past few months

Recording and Releasing My First Single

the first of the Scary Things

I released a single
Image of my single for sale on Amazon

I was so scared.  I would never EVER have done it except Jobe told me to.  Jobe said it would be easy.  Jobe seems to find doing wild and brave things easy. 

Jobe is the musical director of my solo project.  He is under 30 years old (not quite sure the exact number), and he has a million ideas, plenty of focus and the energy of a puppy on red bull. Like all of the musicians I’m lucky enough to work with Jobe also has bucket loads of talent.

Jobe literally wrote a plan for me and what I was going to do this year.  He listed a set of gigs and told me how I would go about recording a single.  I followed instructions and prepared myself for all sorts of challenges of how this couldn’t just work.  Things don’t just work. 

I didn’t expect to be able to get the amazing musicians together for a day of recording.They were all able to do the same day.

I called the only recording engineer I know in Birmingham and not only could he do it but he was within budget.

So we did a day of recording and the musicians were brilliant.

Then I recorded my part and everything felt wrong.  I forgot all of the things I teach.  I got so tense.  I needed a vocal coach with me to look after me. 

Oh the irony.  

I realised that singing in a studio is such a different skill and I am so nervous about it.

After a few days we got the track back and I didn’t like my vocals. I loved everything else but my vocals weren’t good enough.

I went back in and redid them.

Then Si, the engineer sent over a draft and I shared it with the rest of the band and waited for feedback..  Then I got worried that I was going to loose my nerve so I just set it to Distrokid and released it.  I forgot to tell the rest of the band, (I didn’t for weeks – oops), and I barely told anyone about it.  I tagged it onto the very end of an email I sent to my students but I didn’t make any fanfare at all.

I’m astounded by how easy it is to release a song that you have written and own.  It’s literally a case of upload it, pay a fee and fill in a few details.  I’m also astounded that I would never have done this if Jobe hadn’t pushed me into it.

The blog about to how to check out the single is here. 

The BVA Event   where I owned my neurodivergence and it felt like a superpower

the second of the Scary Things

The BVA Contemporary Voice Event

I wrote an blog last year where I said I would share more about the contemporary voice event I was heavily involved in setting up and running.   I didn’t ever share more about it.  So I’ll share a bit now.  

This is the link to the event on the BVA website.

I didn’t share how we got delegates at the beatboxing, making metal distortion sounds and then showing a close up of the expert’s larynx’s whilst they made those amazing noises.

You can see the cool videos here  

I didn’t share that I presented for the first time.

I led warm ups with my lovely colleague Jamie  – and we were marvellous.

And I didn’t share how I proudly announced at the start that I have ADHD and I’m owning it without shame or pride but just acknowledging it. I asked that the delegates take responsibility for their well-being and tell me if they need anything to be done differently.

One thing that I’m sad about is that I got overwhelmed by it all about two thirds of the way through and had to sit outside.  I thought I would be able to pay the presenter for some one to one coaching on what she was sharing at a later date but it turns out she’s retraining as a doctor so I’ve missed my chance.

I am sad that I missed an important part of the day but at that time I felt I had to get some quiet time.  I hope that in the future I’ll be able to calm my stress down without having to leave the space.

I really meant to share it when I wrote the last blog, in October last year, but life has flown by and I didn’t.

The great Mary Hammond wrote a review of the event.  When it is published it will be behind a members wall but here is a highlight of what she wrote:-

“I was intrigued by the title of this conference so decided – thankfully – to attend.  I use the word thankfully deliberately because it brought me back to the fascination of exploring voice with such good informed presenters.”

Mary Hammond

Who is pushing you into doing the scary things that you secretly want to do but are scared to try?

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