Musings Of a Singing Teacher On Going With the Flow.
I was planning to write about perfectionism today. Then I found myself, at 3.45pm, chilling in the sunshine, in my epic gravity chair – like a supported deckchair – bopping to Fontains D.C. and I started thinking about how hard it can be to relax. How hard it can be to go with the flow.
I was only chilling because I was appalled by how pale my legs were, not because I wanted to relax and chill out. But it was glorious and it made me think how I could have allowed myself to chill and relax, even if I liked having pale legs.
Permission To Enjoy Yourself. Permission to Sing?
How does this link to singing and working on your singing? Furthermore, how does this link to perfectionism?
There is something radical about being allowed to do something because it’s joyful, fun or just the easiest and nicest option. Something wild about feeling like you, yes you, are allowed to do nice things.
I work with so many people who delayed having singing lessons for years, decades even, because that would have been a thing for them and who do they think they are to do something that is just for them. So many of these singers lived lives where they felt so shy about their singing that they mimed at public singing events. Some even mimed in the car when no one was around.
Imagine spending years of your life not allowing yourself the basic human joy of singing.
Why do so many of us have to hit a wall in our lives before we permit ourselves to do things we love and want to do?
Why are we afraid to do the things that will bring us joy and make our lives happier?
Is it because it feels indulgent? Who are you to do the things you want to do?
It’s not a pie.
You being happier doesn’t take happiness from someone else.
You being happier will probably make you nicer and probably make the world a slightly better place.
Like I wrote in this blog from 2020, most things are not like a pie, you having more doesn’t mean someone else has less.
Yesterday I had two students who inspired me to write this.
The first student is a cracking singer who has only had a few lessons with me.
Her challenge is the typical ADHD thing of going for it too much. She is working way harder than she has to work. Instead of going with the flow of the breath and letting her voice come out she is weighty with it which means she’s struggling with higher notes.
One of the main principles of my teaching is that we want to work as little as possible for the results we want. For those of us who are “over tryers” it is really challenging to not overwork. The idea of going with the flow feels lazy, maybe arrogant. Possibly indulgent or even milking our privilege. Who are you (me?) to do the thing that is the easiest thing to do?
Only if you work hard do you deserve the good stuff.
Grind merits results.
That’s just not true.
The other singer who inspired me yesterday had got caught up in the quagmire that can happen when we get worried about our technique or lack thereof. So many people come to me for lessons because they feel they “have no technique”. One of things that I love about having taught singing for soooo long is that I no longer believe in technique. or lack thereof. So many people come to me for lessons because they feel they “have no technique”. One of things that I love about having taught singing for soooo long is that I no longer believe in technique.
It Can Be Easy
Some people who I work with, (not many), are drawn to the songs that are comfortable and they gently expand their voices, whilst being in a place of ease and flow.
I realise as I write this that that is how my journey as a singing teacher has happened. Teaching feels completely intuitive to me. Making a safe place is intuitive to me. But I’ve never let myself take the comfortable route as a singer or performer. Maybe writing this will inspire me to explore ease and flow more in my singing too.1
Beyond my first two principles – do no harm and work towards longevity – I very much don’t believe in right and wrong as an approach to singing.
How This Fits Into Singing Lessons
I’m aware I’ve been round the houses so I’ll share why this fits. How going with the flow is part of how I work in singing lessons.
So much of my work with people is about getting them to switch off. Switch off effort, switch off muscular tension.
I seem to spend an enormous amount of time with people getting them to slob back in their chair as though they’re on a deckchair and let their abs respond to their breath and let their voices respond to their abs responding to their breath.
It’s all about using the minimum tension to do the job. What is the minimum effort you can use to do what you want to do?
I do so many exercises that are about asking how the singer can be lazier? Or I’m asking the singer what their body wants to do. For example, what is the easiest way to stand? What is the easiest way to sing that line?
How Lazy Can You Be and Still Be Your Personal Brand of Fabulous?
Do you want to work that hard or do you want to find the flow in your singing so that it can be easy and joyful, dare I say even relaxing?
If you want to know more about singing feeling easier get in touch
If you want to know more about your spoken voice feeling easier get in touch here about the Own Your Spoken Voice Workshop
On Monday I’m doing an after dinner gig and I’m singing what I call “the sort of songs that are easy to me”. It’s the classic musical theatre stuff that sits so easily in my voice. This stuff is easy so why am I always trying to sing Brandi Carlile’s songs which are so hard for me? Why do I feel that to be “allowed to sing for people” I have to write shows that are helping the audience with things like post natal depression or sing really hard stuff that is so far from my comfort zone?